A Man's Secrets to Successful Online Dating

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work. Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online. All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what’s a nice guy to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.

You must be patient. Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online. Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face. She will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience.

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one.

A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head.

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her. After all, you have nothing to hide. You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you. The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.

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Ask the Right Questions First

OK.  You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile.  You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact.  What now?  How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all?  You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is.  It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions.  You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that.  

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?”  Listen carefully to her answers.  She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general.  

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?”  Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong.  

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?”  If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect.  If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same.  If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer.  Move forward but always with caution. 

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

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Popular Online Dating Activities

All types of everyday activities are growing in popularity online these days like sharing photos and greeting cards. In fact, both of these even go hand in hand with online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today.

Before actually meeting in person, many dates get acquainted online first. Here’s how.

Photos - As a wonderful keepsake of your budding romance, create an online photo album for your new cyber-mate. Include digital photos of favorite outdoor scenes, pets, flowers, cars, silly moments, your computer corner or laptop, etc. Then you’ll even have more to discuss during online dates via emails and chat rooms. Search for “photo albums” to find places that store your photos.

Greeting Cards - Regardless of where the person lives, you can mail a greeting card. If privacy and security is an issue, check into renting an inexpensive P.O. Box (check the Yellow Pages). You do not have to be an artist to make something homemade and special for the new friend in your life. Even making a special, personalized greeting card would be appreciated and show your date that you care enough to take the time needed to make something by hand. Search your favorite search engine for online greeting cards to send, too. They range from free to low cost and can be sent in a click.

So get online and get active! No need to risk meeting in person until you get more familiar with each other online first. So take the online plunge!

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Growing Online Dating Relationships

Just like regular real-world relationships, online relationships need tending, to grow over time. Here are some quick growing tips.

  1. Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.

  2. Communication needs to “feel” right for both of you. If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.

  3. Respect each others privacy. Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence. 

  4. Share special online and offline fun times. Online – send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area (like a key chain with your state bird).
Tend your online relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.

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How Do I Choose the Right Site For Me?

With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don’t recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of...outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.

Here are some things to consider:

(1) Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?  

(2) Features. Which features are the most important to you?
  • (A) Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
  • (B) Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email. 
  • (C) Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
  • (D) Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have? 
  • (E) Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature? 
These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.


Matchmaker.com began online as a BBS (Bulletin Board System) in 1984. 16 years later, Matchmaker is the internet's leading community enabling secure connections between people with similiar interests and/or needs.We have over 7 million registrations to date with more than 50,000 new members joining Matchmaker weekly.

Since time has become increasingly consumed by the demands of professions, and family/personal commitments, we are finding it harder to participate in activities and have encounters with others of similar interests and character.

Effective use of electronic networking can help overcome some of these limitations and increase the probability of meeting someone special.

11 Reasons To Go Online For Love

Where do you go when you are looking for love?

Are you considering joining an online dating site but not sure it’s for you?

Let me tell you how I first discovered online dating and why I firmly believe it fits in with our modern day lifestyles.

A couple of years ago online dating still had a stigma attached to it. Although people were using the internet as a method of dating, they did not discuss it with friends or colleagues for fear of coming across desperate.

I recall a friend of mine who was initially embarrassed to tell me she had joined an online dating site. At the time, I was rather surprised as she was an attractive girl who would be considered quite a catch. However, after chatting to her I completely understood why she had resorted to this method of dating; she was simply tired of meeting timewasters who were not interested in committing to a relationship.

Whilst she had no desire to date some of the men who contacted her, there were quite a few she was interested in and she began a dating spell to make any "singleton" jealous. She then struck up an online relationship with someone who lived 100 miles from her. After exchanging many emails and chatting on the telephone, she decided to meet him. Obviously, the distance didn’t make the relationship ideal but the spark was there and she enjoyed 6 months dating someone with similar interests, shared romantic weekends together and had a fantastic holiday. Although he didn’t turn out to be “the one”, when I asked if she regretted joining an online dating site her answer was "Definitely not!" Her view was that if she hadn’t joined an online dating site, those 6 months would have been spent moaning about meeting the same timewasters in the same old haunts and wondering "what if". She was simply being proactive in her search for love; after all life is far too short!

If you’re not convinced online dating is for you, here are 11 reasons why I think online dating has its advantages:-

  1. You don’t have to wait until the weekend to meet someone.
  2. You don’t have to get dressed up for a night "online". Wear whatever you feel comfortable in at home.
  3. If you work unusual hours online dating fits in with your schedule. You can log on at any time of the day to suit you; there is always someone online waiting to chat.
  4. If you start chatting to someone and then decide they are not what you are looking for, put them back in the net gently and choose another. There are plenty of fish in the sea!
  5. If you are tired of seeing the same old faces when you go out, there are people of all age groups all across the country waiting online to meet someone.
  6. If you are new to an area online dating is a great way of meeting people whether it's for friendship or dating. If you meet a few people online in your area, you can arrange a get together for you all rather than meeting on a one-to-one basis.
  7. If all of your friends have settled down or you have recently become single what better way to meet new someone quickly than to go online and meet more singles!
  8. Anonymous messaging and chat rooms let you flirt to your heart’s content without any embarrassment or getting tongue-tied.
  9. You will probably find out more about someone online before you arrange a date with them than you would if you had met them in a bar. Online dating usually makes people more cautious about who they choose to date and in this day and age that can’t be a bad thing!
  10. We now live and date very differently to previous generations where the traditional place to meet people was in nightclubs, parties, at work or through friends. By joining an online dating site you are not excluding these avenues but simply extending your opportunities of meeting someone.
  11. Finally, 1 month’s membership costs less than a night out and gives you hundreds of opportunities to meet your perfect partner – every night!
With so many positive reasons to go online for love, finding your perfect partner has never been easier. Try it out for yourself and please let me know how you're doing.

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Establishing Online Dating Relationships: Safety First

Online dating can be fun. But don’t neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas.

Protect Your Computer

Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use):

Free Firewall Download: ZoneAlarm www.zonelabs.com
Free Anti-Virus Download: AVG Anti-Virus www.grisoft.com

Protect Yourself

Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service. How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.

So take care. Arm your computer – and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!

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